Chapter 2: Life without Instagram

Addictions, relationships, and monsters under the bed.

All artwork by Luis Coelho (@purr.in.ink)

Emotional Dumpling is a newsletter by Suki Chan. If you liked reading today’s story, you can share an excerpt of it with a friend or on social media. Your support means the world to me. Happy reading!

It has been three months since I deleted Instagram, and guys, what a transformation!

Last November, I officially left Instagram and Tiktok. I say “officially”, but there is nothing serious here; most people didn’t even notice I had left 🤪

It hasn’t been a long time, but it has been enough to show me what life is like without Instagram. There are ups and downs, and all of it is worthwhile. 

the positives

1. Addiction free

Before leaving Instagram, I wasn't sure how to describe what the app felt like. Now that I've been away, I can see it for what it was: an addiction. 

This only became apparent after I quit. During the first few weeks, it was hard. I found myself going on Youtube more. Whenever my mind had an empty moment, I would feel this impulse to reach for something, as if the silence was overbearing.

It wasn’t until after the first month that I learned to be okay with stillness (which ultimately cascaded into more profound lessons of self-compassion, but that's for the end).

Instagram was like a beautiful, picture-perfect escape. Every time I opted in, I felt fuller. But never fulfilled.

2. Improved relationships

It turns out: you don’t need a third-party app to mediate your conversations. You can pick up the phone and call a friend, or if you’re an introvert like me, you can text first before calling ;) 

Since quitting Instagram, my relationships have improved tenfold. It isn’t because our interactions have increased, but rather, it’s how I feel about them that has changed.

I get excited to hear from my friends. I still find cute cat memes and gifs and send them. And because I'm no longer observing my friends’ lives from the sidelines, I now have the honour of hearing their stories in the first person 💗

Interactions feel genuine when they're not curated, “liked” or presented. Everything feels more organic, and for that, I am happy.

3. Bought a lot less

Surprise, surprise: I bought a lot less in the past few months. I was never a big spender, but when I was scrolling daily, I felt a constant urge to browse: a new bag, a new phone, a new hairstyle… you get it.

Something new isn’t always better, and something old isn’t always useless. A pair of pants can be as old as your stuffed animal from childhood, but if it fits right and feels good, then it works!

My credit card bill is lighter, my closet is lighter, and I’m lighter.

the negative

Not the answer

When we break off from something—whether voluntarily by choice or involuntarily because of life—it is always freeing at first. The initial magic will settle, however, and in the end, you are still left with yourself.

This should not scare us but rather empower us.

Quitting Instagram was not ‘the answer’ for me; it was never meant to be. If anything, it took away my distractions and helped me get a clear look at the patterns 🧠 running behind the scenes this whole time.

At first, I was confused—disappointed, even. I thought deleting the app was the solution to my problems, but instead, it guided me toward the real solution: me.

There are layers and layers of magic within us: some are shadows and some are light. If we are willing to release the distractions that temporarily numb our pain, we will discover that the pain is not so bad. 

We will finally see that there is no monster under the bed.

In short: life without Instagram is great!

I don’t even remember how the app works now, and I have no intention of going back anytime soon. If it feels expansive for my soul… then maybe.

But the soul first, always.