How to Love Being Messy
Even Marie Kondo, the guru of tidying up, has learned to embrace messiness.
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I grew up in a house that was tidy, clean and organized. Every item was dust-free and had a designated space for it. Spills weren't encouraged, but if it happened, it was best to clean up quickly because stains are not pretty and messiness is uncomfortable.
I didn't need to grow up in a tidy house to value structure though.
Society today is full of structure. Everyone and everything has a role (so to speak), and we are better for it. Human civilization also survived because of order. Our ancestors all lived in groups of 30-100 people, and our actions played into each other's survival.
So if having structure is so good, why does chaos—structure’s evil twin sister—still exist?
The Universe and Earth are inherently chaotic and unpredictable. Although scientists have done a miraculous job mapping out our galaxy and understanding its nuances, the “final” picture will always be just out of reach. 80% of the ocean has yet to be discovered. Life continues to change, adapt and reiterate—and we have the fossils to prove it.
On a personal level, it didn’t take long for me to understand the silliness of trying to keep my life in order. Well, 25 years, to be exact.
I’ve discovered that too much structure always means too much control. Trying so hard to wedge all areas of my life into their perfect little places only resulted in everything wanting to break free in the end: my career, long-term relationships, sanity, and so much more.
Chaos, as I see it now, is expansion. Just like how billions of cells in my body die every day to give way to new life, the structures in my life tend to collapse every few years to give way to a new chapter.
My job isn’t to contain as many falling parts as possible. My job is to embrace the chaos and learn to love being messy.
I wonder how I would respond to chaos differently if I grew up in a messy house (just kidding because I love clean spaces!). But seriously, I wonder how much better we would feel about our (very real n’ messy) lives if our culture learned to embrace chaos gently rather than aggressively.
Everything eventually falls apart and comes back together in a new way, so why hold on to any of it?
Even Marie Kondo, the guru of tidying up, has learned to embrace messiness.
Why can't I?
