What Makes A Winner?
Figuring out what is worth fighting for
Emotional Dumpling is a newsletter by Suki Chan. If you liked reading today’s story, you can share an excerpt of it with a friend or on social media. Your support means the world to me. Happy reading!
I scratch my head as I stare at my screen. I can't figure out why this grid isn't working. Did I follow the instructions wrong? Or is Squarespace glitching? My spacing doesn’t match the template!
After 3 hours of troubleshooting… I surrender. I post my question in the group and think, “I'll figure it out when I figure it out.”
The next day, I got an idea! Maybe the issue isn't the website builder or my grid… but my screen size? What if I zoom out, so it's like I'm working on a bigger desktop? A-ha! OMG. It works! Problem solved.
The moments before falling asleep are nerve-racking: the anticipatory silence followed by a rush of thoughts and fears. Typically, I would distract myself with my phone. But no, today, I am too exhausted to watch something.
I close my eyes and start listening to nothing. Suddenly, tears stream down my face. Oops, what a mess. I'm not sure why I'm crying, but if I had to guess, my body is seizing this opportunity to release.
It turns out that this act of vulnerability is an act of faith because I woke up the next day feeling lighter. I didn't even check my appearance in the bathroom mirror—something I hadn’t done in a while.
“I should write something this week. I already skipped the last one!”
But what is this guilt and shame I feel? What if I stay present with these triggers instead of reacting to bury them?
That day, I didn’t end up writing. To my surprise, I still found healing.
What makes a winner?
The three stories I shared today are instances where I felt like a winner over the past weeks. As you can tell, only one involved a measurable outcome; the other two were victories of the heart and mind.
We are used to comparing ourselves to other people. Most of us enter society thinking that our destiny is to “win” or become the “best” at something.
Was I at my best in those moments though? Not really. I kind of felt like a loser. However, I also knew I was winning a little more peace, understanding, and presence.
No matter what happens in our lives, we can still be winners.
We just have to figure out what is worth fighting for at this moment.
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What are you fighting for?
