Going Off The 9x9 Grid
What I most look forward to after leaving Instagram
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I finally did it. I quit Instagram.
I have been on Instagram for ten years.
Considering how ten years is almost half the amount of time I’ve spent on this Earth, I'd say it's a long time.
So why did I do it? To accurately depict why I fell out of love with Instagram, it’s important to start with why I fell in love with it in the first place.
Shiny new stage
I still remember the days when I would talk to my friends via MSN. Back then, the rise of social platforms (like Tumblr) felt fun and full of possibilities.
I didn't actively participate on Instagram until university. Maybe it was because my friends were doing it or because I was going through some changes, but Instagram was like a shiny stage.
A stage for me to create who I am, expand my self-concept, and belong to a group.
Funny, because I always wanted to be in a group growing up. Now, I embrace my solitude like it is gold.
A friend or a foe?
A relationship with Instagram is as complicated as a real relationship. There are good and bad. Pros and cons. The question isn't whether Instagram makes you happy at times but whether it truly serves you.
Does it bring you closer into alignment with who you want to be?
For most of my adulthood, Instagram has been a friend because it accompanied me through many changes. From my first heartbreak to my travels to my dream job, Instagram was there to document it all.
And you know what? I genuinely loved sharing things about myself.
But this relationship has shifted over the years. We both changed.
The platform has so many ads, and the algorithm leaves something to be desired. Photos feel obsolete. More importantly, getting likes from old peers doesn’t add to my self-concept anymore. If anything, I feel empty because I know these connections aren’t real.
And I like deep, soulful connections.
Playing to win vs. playing to not lose
There is a concept called ‘playing to win’ vs. ‘playing to not lose.’ When we take an action, we either play to win or play to not lose.
Playing to win is when we are driven by love; we are deeply connected to our why and inspired from within. Playing to not lose, though, is when we fear the costs of not participating. We aren’t necessarily sure of the benefits of moving but do it anyway, because we don't want to lose out.
I held onto Instagram for too long because I was playing to not lose. I didn't want to lose out on the opportunities promised by this platform, the old connections I once spent so much energy on, and the illusions of having a perfect life.
The moment I recognized my own excuses, my soul felt free.
What I look forward to
Rediscovering myself
What I look forward to most is rediscovering who I am and gaining more perspective. It’s like picking up your favourite book and learning something new every time.
Who am I?
Do I actually like these hobbies?
What kind of clothes do I like?
What are my opinions on this topic?
Do I care about this topic?
Welcoming presence
I have a habit of wanting to perform.
When I had Instagram, all I could think about was how something would “look” to others or what I can “share” with them.
Not being a performer means no longer living your life to please or impact others. It means freeing yourself into the present moment and enjoying it because it truly is your life.
If you love sharing and expressing, as I do, do it with people who see and appreciate you. Avoid sharing with those who don’t care for you or your creativity. This is how you protect your heart while keeping it open.
Creating space
I like a slow and sensual life, which requires creating sacred and private space. I know that leaving Instagram will help me because I am taking back my energy and giving my mind, heart, and soul the space it needs to breathe.
It’s only been a few days and…
I am more relaxed. I get excited when I hear from people. I also enjoy myself a lot more.
Whenever I feel the urge to make a moment “shareable”, I come back to my now and remind myself that I am not a performer anymore.
I am not a performer anymore.
I am free :)
Thanks for sharing this! If you visit our Instagram page, you’ll see I haven’t posted in a while. Largely this is because the scheduling up went haywire and then I lost momentum. But if I look more deeply, it’s nowhere near as satisfying as engaging with my stack subs all waiting for me in my inbox without ads.
I haven’t made the decision yet because I want to make sure I’m promoting the creatives I feature and a lot of them are there... but each time I see a ‘suggested post’ I just want to throw my phone out of the window.
am in the process of cranking down my instagram usage, its always inspiring and motivating to read positive experiences of it! i can absolutely relate to not wanting to 'perform' anymore and not finding 'sharable' moments